what I miss and what makes me feel bad............................

I called the hot guy once because I was happy in Mk. So I want to go back there because this is hard and boring as hell in N-WORLD, BUT MEN HERE SEEM TO LIKE THE BORING LIFESTYLE WHERE THEY DO EVERYTHING THEY WANT.

ANYWAY THE ONE TIME I CALLED HIM. HE TOLD ME HOW HE TRAVELED ALL OVER THE PLACE WHILE I STAYED PUT HERE DOING NOTHING. AND THAN IT MADE ME UPSET BECAUSE I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD THE LUXURY OF WATCHING A ROMANTIC MOVIE WITH A GUY I LIKE. I AM HERE SUFFERING AND THAN i GET JEALOUS OF YOUNG WOMEN HAVING KIDS.

N-WORLD IS BORING AND DISGUSTING.

NEW FRIDGE AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY

i THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY, BUT I AM STILL ANGRY AND IT HASN'T TAKEN THE BURDEN OFFOF ME  WITH NO BRAINS IN HEAD.

i AM TIRED AND EXHAUSTED FROM LIVING WITH THE BURDEN OF DEALING WITH THEM MY FAMILY AND MEN IN N-WO

I AM TIRED OF DEALING WITH ANGRT SENSITIVE HOMOSEXUAL KING PENBISG MEN WITH NO BRAINS IN THEIR HEADS AND THE BURDEN THAT IS STILL ON MY SHOULDERS. THE REFRIGERATOR DID NOTHING TO LIFT THAT BURDEN, MAKE ME HAPPY OR GET ME AWAY FROM THESE HOMOES.

My cousin doesn't invite me places
I thought it was becuse of the alt-right stuff I posted, but now I think she is fucked up in the head and I insulted her sons father in law or told his ass off. And old Irish baby boomer fuckheads in N-WORLD HATE REALITY.

IF YOU ARE REALLY AN OLD LONELY IRISH MAN WOULDN'T YOU MOVE TOWARDS OLD PUSSY TO HIT ON ALSO. IT'S WIERD THAT THEY WANT TO MOVE TOWARDS ME TO USE ME AND FUCK ME OVER AND SCREW ME OVER.

MY DEGENERATE UNCLE AND NEW FRIDGE

I AM NOT SURE IF i DID THE RIGHT THING JUST YET.  I GOT A NEW FRIDGE BECAUSE I WAS PISSED AT THE WAY WE ARE LIVING MY MOTHER AND I HAVE REFRIGERATORS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS THAT ARE SMALL AND i AM SUPPOSED TO FIT ALL OF MY FOOD IN THERE AND MY MOTHER AND WE LIVE LIKE ANIMALS.

SO I GOT THE FRIDGE AND MY JACKASS ASSHOLE FAGGOT UNCLE IS PULLING OFF THE TAPE AND TAKING OUT THE CARDBOARD LIKE IT'S HIS FRIDGE AND HE HOVERS AROUND. HE IS WEIRD.

I GOT THE NEW FRIDGE TO MAKE THINGS EASIER, BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I AM BEING USED AND I AM NOT HAPPIER. I AM NOT SURE IF EVERYTHING I DID HASN'T MADE THINGS BETTER No matter what i do or what hoops I try to jump through.

MY MOTHER JUST TOLD ME HOW TO DO MY JOB AND TO TRY SOMETHING CREATIVE.

WHEN I TELL HER THEY DONT WANT YOU TO COME UP WITH YOUR OWN REWARD SYSTEM SHE GETS ANNOYED LEAVES THE ROOM STARTS IN WITH ME AND SAYS BYE, BYE BYE IN A WHINY VOICE AND THAN SHE SAYS I DON'T HAVE THE TIME FOR YOU WHEN YOU GET LIKE THIS.

MOM, NARCISSISM, VICTIM, CONTROL

So I went out to try to buy a fridge. It's one of the major things we need right now. All we have is college age dormitory fridges.

Long story short. My mother and I went to the store got the Fridge and as we are leaving she said she is going to throw out her freezer. She has to do this. A few weeks ago she threw out some of my food that was in her freezer and when I complained she said she had a right to do it becuase it's HER FREEZER. Her freezer that she paid for and prizes so much and now she wants to get rid of it.

So than she is like you can have the big freezer and I will take the freezer in the new fridge since you and soandso like to mess up the freezer and keep all your food in it. And I am like why can't we just share it whats the big deal and she goes into a tirade yells at me walks off and tells me she is taking the older college fridge and me and soandso can have everything. We can have the big freezer and the new fridge because she just can't deal with it.

Here he goes.

Trans man is talking and ranting a mile a minute. These people are in turmoil and not at peace.

NARCISSIST MOTHER AND NARCISSIST TRANS MAN AGITATED AND NOT SETTLED

Had to run out and do chores today and my mother is a nervous wreck and irritable. The are her words.

"She doesn't like to go out when its raining. She doesn't like to go out at night time." She gripes about every last and little thing. Everything is a hassle.

She hates immigration which I understand, but than when I ask why my Uncle that had a big shit job couldn't help me out or my brother by getting us a job her response is. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want to argue."

He didn't WANT to move his ass. I'll tell her it's not all the immigrants. My uncles and fire liutenant and gay king shit Jewish narcissistic men had the ABILITY to get the fuck up their asses and help me out, BUT THEY DID NOTHING BUT FOCUS ON THEIR OWN EGOS WANTS AND NEEDS ALL THE TIME AND STILL DO. They live a dull cock boring lifestyle where nothing matters unless they get a erection they they jump up like jack in the box or react to stimuli. They can't even throw 1 or 2 of their customers my way so that I could get experience for a job.

Now the trans person blames me for everything. I just want to be happy and be away from them. The trans guy is like a lunatic moving around with no brains in head constantly. And now some bitch that is his supposed friend is happy that he cut his dick off because she is safe. You see she was also raped by her brother and all men even weak men are out to get her and she wants to get revenge on them. I can't handle him. He blames me and says his cat gets agitated because I snap. "I know honey she drives you crazy and snaps." And than when I tell trans man he is angry he denies it and swards he perfect and happy, but than has these wild moodswings.

He yells and screams and rants when he gets up in the morning and is filled with anger and turmoil and his cat goes crazy running under my bed to hide. But he is perfect and has an excuse for all his actions so it must be somebody elses fault. The ttrans man gets angry nervous and jumpity all the time like he is always turned on, always hiked up on energy.

I miss J she was the only real normal person I ever got to talk to here. I got along with her the best.  She was the most real person I had to deal with here. One Jewish woman said why don't I marry an old fart Irish guy when I complained that he was hitting on me.

It's like complete misery here and this is my happiness. Well at least I had peace and quiet for 1 day.