Narciccist and bi-polar, histrionic.

So I start to turn into my drive way and the cars behind me won't wait they speed around me into on coming trafffic right into 2 trucks. At this point the narcissist starts going bezerk and says let me get out, I am goint to stop them and direct traffic and the narcissist gets very histrionic or bi polar so that when I do turn into the drive way my tire goes up against the side of the curb on the side of the house. So I start yelling at the narcissist and this woulnd't happen if they would get so worked up. And than the Narcissist startss yelling at me "So now you are blaming me", and I tried to explain they made me nervous or I was paying attention to them getting worked up. And the Narcisst yells at me "I wasn't yelling and than starts yelling at me to get out of the car and I'll park the car. Get out of the car. I want to park the car." And they continue to go off the handle while I try to explain to them, but I was so tired I just came in the house.
Honestly I didn't even react to the cars going around me. I just waited until they passed. I only called them idiots for passing me and going around me while 2 fucking trucks were coming inthe other direction, but it's their choice. So when I turned it the Narcissist doesn't take any responsiblity for their overreacion and this is a person that brags about always having their anger under perfect control because they have perfect anger and only get angry in a proper way.
to make matters worse when I parked the car it turns into bribery. Im yelling at her after SHE WAS NICE ENOUGH TO BUY ME POTATO CHIPS FOR $2.50 and this is how I treat her blah blah blah and I get on the defensive and tell her I bought the fridge. I would have stayed and argued, but was too tired for her today. And she the Narcissist starts griping how she doesn't have time for my bullshit.

Reason why Porno is bad..........................

The reason is that you miss out on a human connection or you miss a human connection so that you are unfilfilled even though it's convenient.

I don't want to think about

I don't want to think about angry king shit men anymore with no brains in their heads and be subjected to their spyschotic anger episodes.

He reminds me of Poes the watchful eye except he watches me to make sure not one thing has dropped on his side of the room even when I'm nowhere near him he tries to start in with me and after I told his mother what he was doing. It's too much stress to deal with people this hard. He stretches his leg out to guard his side of the room when ever I am in there.

She comes out and tells me that she told me to clean the floor and this was my fault.  And than she said when homo tranny man threw a fit we worked out a schedule when he could have the room to ourselves, but I wouldn't cooperate and go along with it and she starts verbally attacking me and when I yell back she says go ahead the neighbor upstairs will call the cops on you. Go ahead and she starts getting in my face and raising her hands saying I wouldn't work with him when their was a shedule for room time.

And than I tell her I want nothing to do with him anymore and she doesn't get it. And I tell her I don't want to be around him anymore and more threats she says there's the door than go ahead and leave. The funny part when her mother was in the hospital and a tranny was a abusing the living shit out of her elderly mother she was going go after him and didn't tolerate shit against her great high and mighty mother.

Oh and than she turns it on me. My side of the room and my stuff makes angry gay tranny king penis man hard and angry and volatile. So she says you know your Uncle had all this stuff in his apartment and after all these years he finally realized grandma was right and he should have cleaned up. MORE LIKE MY MOTHER LIKES THAT MY AUNT AND GRANDMOTHER BEAT HIM DOWN AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. fUCKING CUNT.  AND SHE WANTS MY BROTHER TO DO THAT TO ME AND SLAM ME INTO THE WALL. SHE HAS NO RESPECT FOR ME WHATSOEVER AND I CAN'T TOLERATE HER ANYMORE OR HIM.

LET ME SEE HIM FUCK WITH HIS RETARDED GIRLFRIEND TOMORROW WHEN THE GO TO THE MOVIES. AND TRY TO BULLY HER AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HER. FUCKING ASSHOLE WHACKJOB.

STUFF I FEEL BAD ABOUT AND I AM ASHAMED ABOUT.

So

Narc Tranny Man

I think he maybe on something because he gets really paranoid and starts to accuse me of stuff.
He had a wet band aid wrapper from Curad or some other brand and he said that there was blue liquid on it and asked me if I spilled any blue liquid and I tried to explain to him that the band-aid wrapper got wet and the blue print Logo ink was running because the paper was wet. And he said no and wouldn't believe me. And he said he was just curious thats why and insisted it was some type of blue fluid.

WHEN MY ASSHOLE MORON UNCLE HUMMS AND MEOWS TO CATS IT IRRITATES ME AND ANGERS ME AND TRIGGERS ME.

ZO ITS ANNOYING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE HOMOMAN BEHAVIOR.  HE DOES IT BEHIND ME LIKE A MISERABLE FUCKING SON OF A HOMOMAN BITCH TRYING TO ANNOY ME.

ALL THE HOSTILITY AND RAGE IS DIRECTED TOWARDS ME...................

ALL OF MY BROTHERS GAY TRANNY HOSTILITY AND RAGE IS DIRECTED TOWARDS ME AND I HAVE TO SIT THERE IN A ROOM WHILE MY MOTHER THREATENS BOTH OF US WITH HER FEARS OF NEIGHBORS AND WHAT MY UNCLE WILL DO TO US.

I BARELY MOVE HIS SUITCASE A LITTLE BIT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR AND HE COMES IN THE ROOM HOSTILE AND GOES INTO A RAGE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT ME TO DO I AM MOVING ALL OF MY STUFF OUT FOR ANGRY GAY KING SHIT MAN AND THAT IS STILL NOT ENOUGH FOR HIM OR ENOUGH TO PLEASE HIM AND WHILE MY MOTHER IS YELLING AT ME HE PUTS A SICK TWISTED SMILE ON HIS FACE LIKE UHUH IM RIGHT, IM GREAT, IM PERFECT.

This is what my mother said to me "Oh great, now you are arguing with me. You are arguing with both of us. You don't see yourself.
Than she says this to me "It's always everyone else with the problem it's never you that has the problem." Well Im moving all of my stuff out of the room. I have nothing so how much more for fucks sake, jesus christ do you want from me. All of this after she constantly attacks me while my brother is sitting there on the bed happy and delighted that I am being tortured and yelled at because he is getting a rise out of seeing me being hurt.

I do admit it does affect me. I feel like I have to run and can never do enough.

My brother is so toxic and deranged that I don't want to even be around him anymore. He's scary as fuck and because I had my computer in the middle of the floor when he's not there. He threatened me and said I can take and smash up and break your computer next time you do that.

GAY ANGRY KING TRANS PENIS MEN THAT WANT DOMINATION AND FUCK THEMSELVES OVER.

SO THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE REALLY LIKE:

HE PUTS HIS STUFF RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLAW AND SO I HAVE TO CATER TO GAY TRANS KING SHIT MAN AND PRETEND THAT ITS OKAY. WELL THIS PAST WEEKEND THAT JACKASS TRIPPED OVER HIS OWN STUFF AND SKINNED HIMSELF. AT FIRST I FELT BAD, BUT REALLY DON'T FEEL SORRY. HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED FOR ABUSING ME AND NOW TODAY HE IS BACK TO HIS SAME OLD WAYS.

I AM NOT ALLOWED TO PUSH HIS STUFF UP AGAINST HIS BED LIKE I DO WITH MY STUFF SO THAT I CAN EVEN PULL SOME STUFF OUT FROM UNDER MY BED TO GET SOMETHING AND HE WATCHES ME VERY CAREFULLY AND THAN TODAY AFTER IM DONE HE PUTS A 10 POUND WEIGHT AND HIS SUITCASE BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR.

IM NOT EVEN HAPPY HES AN ANGRY NASTY FUCK AND I DON'T EVEN WANT TO DEAL WITH HIM ANYMORE BECAUSE OF HIS NARCISSISTIC DOMINANCE.

THE ONLY ONE THAT CALLED HIS BLUFF WAS MY UNCLE THAT ABUSED MY MOTHER. GAY TRANS KING SHIT MAN PASSED A PLATE OVER ME AT THE DINNER TABLE INSTEAD OF GIVING IT TO ME AND THATS WHEN MY UNCLE TOLD HIS ASS OFF AND HE ALSO DESERVED THAT EVEN THOUGH I DONT CONDONE WHAT MY UNCLE DID

AND MY GRANDMOTHER DIDN'T GIVE TO MUCH LIKE MY MOTHER SAID TODAY. SHE GAVE INTO ANGRY ABUSIVE ASSHOLES SO THAT SHE COULD GET WHAT SHE WANTED AND CONTROL PEOPLE. MY MOTHER EVEN ADMITTED THE OTHER DAY THAT MY GRANDMOTHER WAS A CONTROL FREAK LIKE MY MOTHER.

hahaha DENMARKIANS ARE NOT FEMINIST THEY ARE NORMAL

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/10/and-the-least-feminist-nation-in-the-world-is-denmark?utm_source=pocket-newtab

UH OH MAYBE THEY ARE NOT NORMAL

They are 2nd when they don't mind wolf whistling after NIGERIA. That stuff is annoying and pisses you off.

ACTUALLY MAYBE THEY ARE NORMAL.

MORE GAY RETARDATIOIN AND STUPIDITY AND BARILLA PASTA

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2019-05-07/barilla-pasta-s-turnaround-from-homophobia-to-national-pride

THE FUCKING SUFFERING OF GAY PEOPLE BEING INSULTED BY SPAGHETTI. IMAGINE THAT CUNT CHRISSY TEIGEN SAYING SHE WANTS GAY PORN SEX IN A BATHTUB FILLED WITH NATIVE AMERICAN ART. FUCKING DUMBASS CUNT THAT NEEDS TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT HER UGLY BROWN ASS.

Enjoying your life and doing what's right for you is not evil or selfish.

With me it's my mother and now maybe my brother. My mother goes around early in the morning saying she has to go through things and throw out her stuff before it rains. She gets very hyper, neorotic and paranoid over nothing. Later I go to give her the mail and she says "What the fuck do you want? Are you ready? I was doing something?" and than she tells me I have an attitude. My only option until I can go LOCO or Low Contact is to train myself to not deal with them except for when it's extremely necessary. And every fight is a challenge. She yellls at me "I only think about myself" and than I say NO, that's you. and my mothers like "Damn straight that's me from now on." So after she accuses me of being selfish and evil she goes on how she has a right to be that way. Doesn't make sense. I don't really think they have the ability to think about anyone else. Even when I am being nice to them I get attitude and they don't even admit they were nasty. One thing I noticed with my mother and Aunt they don't like a clutter or things near them or around them. If you babysit my Aunts cat and buy some food and offer to leave new ketchup or unopened soda at her place. She will throw it out. They automatically know everything like my mother and Uncle. "I know the cats don't like your cat food because it's dry I know they won't eat it and so they just get rid of it."

My Mother, Narcissism, Woe is me, Tragedy and Violent Outburst!

So last week I turned to into my drive way to close. It's a very small drive way and hard turn into you literally have to make a 90 degree angle turn. So I was out of it and tired and I came to close to poles on the side of the house and I broke the mirror a little on the edge.

As soon as I did this my mother went into a woe is me dilemna. My mother:

"I don't know what's going to happen now. How are we gonna get it fixed. How can I afford it. Its going to cost alot of money. I am going to have to sell everything I own and give up everything I own to pay for it."
Me: I try to calm her down. It will be okay. Well is it going to cost a million dollars.
My mother: "Well maybe. We're going to have to figure this one out."
I had PMS so I was already feeling bad and depressed and breaking the mirror made me feel more down and when I tried to stop her and her tragic melodrama trying to make me feel bad all of a sudden she screams.
GET OUT!!!! GET OUT OF THE CAR!!!! IM DRIVING!!!! I'M GOING TO PARK THE CAR!!! IF YOU CAN'T DRIVE THE CAR I'LL DRIVE THE CAR! GET OUT NOW! I'M PARKING THE CAR! BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DRIVE!!! YOU CAN'T PARK!!

Oh yes, almost forgot. I tried to stop her before she yelled saying I'll find a way to pay for it. It's going to be okay and nothing was good enough. She was getting on my nerves so I brought up how she hit the car last year while backing up and brushed the car on the side of the building and I never gave her this much hell for what she did. She said "That's different this is going to cost alot of money. It's not cheap."

HOW DO WE ATTRACT SOMEONE IF YOU HAVE TO DRESS UGLY............................

This is athleisure, but how are you supposed to attract someone by dressing ugly.

NOW IT PISSES ME OFF......................

BECAUSE WHILE MY MOTHER WON'T DO ANYTHING FOR ME. SHE IS JUMPING THROUGH HOOPS FOR MY AUNT THAT WENT ON A VACATIION NEEDS INFORMATION ABOUT OUR ANCESTORS. WHILE MY MOTHER BARELY HAS A FRIDGE.

I never gave them the paperwork I had because I wanted them to suffer a little and was hoping they wouldn't find the info, but maybe my mother has. I wanted to tell them they have to find a genealogist and pay them. Just like my Uncle said I have to get out of this place to find work, but does nothing.

Don't torture yourself for anyone. NARCISSIST ONLY FEEL SYMPATHY WHEN YOU ARE WEAK, SICK AND REALLY SUFFERING OTHERWISE.

THEY COME OFF LIKE MANIACS.

Can't remember everything I was going to say, but here goes......................
I felt sick which always makes me feel stronger because I come back to priorities and what's important. Things become more clear when I get sick for some reason.
My Narcissist mother came into check on me once or twice.

She likes to form an attachment to weak abusive individuals. Narcissist only feel sympathy when you are sick. Maybe like mauchaussen, My father was a tragic case, but not really abusive. He was weaker than my mother although he was a tough guy and got into fights.

My mother than attached her self to Elfie. He beat the shit out of my brother while my mother knew but he was abused so he needed her help and sympathy she needed to take care of a tragically abused man and why me and my poor brother should understand.

Her ex boss a black man that went through horrendous abuse that she had to take on for him. She has to take on his pain and angquish. It was really awkward, but everything about him was about the pain of the black cock movement and the serious and trauma of it sort of like the uncle I live with now. He could be very hard to relate to. It's why I like working with Cubans it was simple and I was happy and they were more open, friendly and easier to deal with in general..

And now my brother because I live here she wants to force me to take on her pain and anquish. So when he gets a volatile moodswing he accuses me of something like giving the cat the whole can of food and than they gang up on me so she can please him while he is having a maniacal hissy fit and crying like a madman. My mother walks around saying we'll show her the can of cat food and put it back in the can to show her how much cat food she is wasting. He is lucky that I feed his damn fucking cat while he is at school.

Here where I live now. There are alot of abusive dumb men that want to push their abuse on me.
One of my ex was Jewish and older. His father/uncle abused him and he was tragic all the time or most of the time. So he needed someone to take care of him and take on his pain in life absorb his pain for him I guess. But if I asked him to get me a job in his office. He completely ignores me like I didn't or never even asked. Like he couldn't even ask his manager or boss. Alot of Narcissist spoiled abusers here that got whatever they damn well pleased in life.

Are white people more intelligent and black people more mentally stable????

White people and Asians have a higher intelligence so they are more prone to mental illness while the chosen ones can use to exploit this weakness and white people and Asians have.

Black people have less intelligence so are less likely to suffer from addictions and mental illness. Maybe the chosen one uses them in other ways.

Example:

Take any human being and they are having a fight and one goes into bathroom and won't allow the other to use it so the other person gets angry and pees their pants The other person is intelligent enough to know they were used and abused and hurt and gets angry.....

Now let's say this human takes over the bathroom and locks the cat or dog out so that cat can't use the litter box that's in the bathroom. The cat will just take a shit on the rug outside and not care because they have a lower intelligence. This is an extreme example, but it's the most clear one. It doesn't even matter to the cat or dog it has no affect on them.

My Uncle also the Narcissist.

I wonder if some areas are prone to Narcissism because of money or catered spoiled brats.
When I first moved to N-World about 14 years ago. I had one woman at a Temporary Agency and she was really looking out for me, energetic and trying to get me a job. She was for me and trying to help me out in fact maybe the only person.

I was younger at the time and one of my Uncles had a car that I drove once and I loved because I never got to have or drive a reliable car. I had just moved to N-World and this woman got me a job interview in the state next door and my Uncle could have helped me out and given the car and shown me how to get around, but they did NOTHING FOR ME. Or they always had some excuse like a typical American paranoid that I was irresponsible and couldn't lend me the car, let me use it or even give the car to me. Because I now realize they owned it and it would have meant the world to me and maybe even made a difference and they wouldn't even let me have that easiness. One little thing a car to help me out and it would have been so easy to give it to me to maybe make my life easier and these bastards including my mother couldn't even do that. 1 second of your time or life, just 1 second to do one little thing for someone else that you don't even fucking need.

WHY WOULD AN UGLY SOB PHILLIPINO DICKHEAD THINK I WANT TO LIVE AROUND HIM IN MISERY......................

ARE PEOPLE THIS STUPID IN N-WORLD.
HE IS ABOUT 40 N0W GOT MARRIED AND DID HIS THING. HIS DAUGHTER LOOKS MIXED HISPANIC. NOT SURE IF IT'S HIS REAL DAUGHTER OR NOT.
HE HAD THE JOY OF MARRYING WHO HE WANTS, AND DOING WHAT THE HELL HE WANTS WHEN HE WANTS.
And his stupid response to me is I work hard.
SO FOR THE PAST 16 YEARS HER PUSSY MADE HIM HAPPY. EVERYTIME I PLEADED WITH MY UNCLE FOR A JOB SO MAYBE

I COULD BE HAPPY AND LIVE MY LIFE AND HAVE SOMETHING

ALL THAT I GOT FROM ANYONE INCLUDING MY UNCLE IS INSTANT IGNORE.............OR
FUCK YOU BIG TIME!

TO THEM I DON'T EVEN EXIST UNTIL ONE CHRISTMAS HE IS LOOKING FOR THE MOST SEXIEST WHITE GIRL WOMAN WHATEVER TO SUCK HIS COCK BECAUSE MOMMY AND DADDY GIVE HIM MONIES. AND HIS MOMMY CAN NO LONGER SUCK HIS PENIS FOR HIM.

IT IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE I NOTICED UGLY PHILLIPINO MAN NEVER ONCE MADE A MOVE FOR MY UGLY FAT WHITE COUSIN BY MARRIAGE, AND LIKE SHE SAID SHE KNOWS THEM BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE SHE GREW UP IN THE ALL INCLUSIVE TIGHT KNIT HOMO N-WORLD WHERE IT'S LIKE ONE BIG FRIENDLY ASSININE FAMILY OF RETARDS. WHO DON'T HELP ANYONE ELSE OUT AND DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES.

ABUSERS WHO WANT YOU TO TAKE ON THEIR LOVERS ABUSE..............

JEWISH WOMAN THAT MARRIED BLACK COCKMAN AND WANTS YOU TO TAKE ON HIS ABUSE BECAUSE THEY WANT TO HOARD AND LIVE IN MISERY SO THAT YOU HAVE TO CATER TO HIM, BOTH OF THEM OR CATER TO HIM BECAUSE SHE CATERS TO HIM. KIND OF THE WAY RELIGIOUS WIVES CATER TO KING PENIS MEN WITH NO BRAINS IN THEIR HEAD. SHE DOES EVERYTHING FOR THE BLACK COMMUNITY INCLUDING BLACK MEN AND BLACK WOMEN AND EXPECT HERSELF AND OTHERS TO DO THE SAME.
My mother is protecting her china closet because her husband trashes things and they are both hoarders and can't take care of an antique china closet.

MY UNCLE IS MARRIED TO A NARCISSISTIC ABUSIVE CUNT THAT IS LIKE MY UNCLE AND HATES WATER IN THE BATHROOM.  OKAY THESE 2 ARE WHITE JACKASSES, FAIR???? IT MAKES HER GET ANGRY WITH NO BRAINS IN HER HEAD WHEN THERE IS WATER ON THE BATHROOM SINK. SO BECAUSE MY UNCLE IS A NARCISSISTIC EGOTISTICAL FAG HE HAS TO PLEASE HER FOR HIS EGO NEEDS AND HE WANTS EVERYONE ELSE TO PLEASE HER AND GIVE INTO HER EVERY NEED.

THE TRANS ANGRY KING PENISH MAN

CALLED ME A LAZY ASS THAT STAYS HOME AND DOES NOTHING ALL THE TIME AT 5:45 AM IN THE MORNING. HE WAS RANTING AND RAVING AND WHEN I TOLD HIM TO SHUT UP HE ACCUSED ME OF DOING IT THE ONE DAY I DO WORK AT A JOB I FOUND.

PEOPLE THAT NEED TO BE PLEASED ALL OF THE TIME AND PEOPLE THAT NEED TO PLEASE ALL THE TIME...............................

ARE WIERD.....................
First of all someone that needs to be pleased all of the time needs a good swift kick in the ass.
Why would anyone want that in the first place it's like you want people to always respond to your needs wants and urges so that you are the only one alive existing in the room.
If you are pleasing everyone all the time than you are NOTHING. So you are not there yourself and it's like you are only responding to everyone else.
This is why I want to get away from N-WORLD there are too many egotistical pricks like this.

TRYING TO GET MY OWN PLACE

I THINK I CAN BUY A PLACE AND THAN I CAN TAKE SOMEONE IN BUT EVEN IF I BUY A PLACE I NEED TO MOVE MY STUFF AND HAVE SOMEONE HELP ME PAY FEES. THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH 'MERICA I KNOW NO ONE HERE TO HELP ME.

I CAN'T PROMISE THAT IT WILL WORK OR I WILL GET IT, BUT AT THIS POINT I WOULD EVEN TAKE IN A MEXICAN SO LONG AS IT'S JUST LIKE A ROOMMATE THING AND THEY ARE SOMEWHAT NORMAL.

MY MOTHER AND BROTHER ARE BOTH NARCISSIST AND GANGBANGING ME OR GANGING UP ON ME.

MY BROTHER HAS GONE COMPLETELY COLD AND HE AND MY MOTHER ARE GANGing up ON ME. SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME FEEL CRAZY AND LIKE IM ALONE. DON'T TRUST THEM THEY'RE NO GOOD.

THE DIFFRENCE IS THAT I CAN MOVE AWAY FROM THESE CONTROLLING MANIPULATIVE FREAKS AND FIND FRIENDS AND THEY, WELL THEY CAN'T.

MY BROTHER COMES IN STORMS INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM, I TELL HIM IM WASHING SOMETHING AND HE KEEPS SAYING THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE AND EVEN OPENS THE LID. HE IS EXTREMELY HIGH AND MIGHTY LATELY AND EVERYTIME HE GETS LIKE THIS MY MOTHER HAS TO CATER TO HIM AND PLEASE HIM. SHE'S ALSO A SICK FUCK.

SO I TELL HIM I NEED TO WASH A SHIRT FOR TOMORROW. GO INTO MY ROOM TO GET THE SHIRT AND HE SAYS. "ARE YOU GOING TO WASH IT." "ARE YOU GOING TO WASH IT". WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS.
AND MY MOTHER SAYS YOU GOT TO TALK TO EACHOTHER. YOU CAN'T ABUSE EACHOTHER. THAN I GO IN AND HE IS BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHING AS USUAL AND THAN MY MOTHER WHEN I GO INTO THE ROOM SHE IS A FATSO AND ALSO DOESN'T MOVE WHEN I SAY EXCUSE ME. SHE SAYS "YOU GOT YOUR STUFF ALL OVER THE FLOOR."
THAN I GO OUTSIDE TO HER ROOM AND TELL MY MOTHER THAT SHE HAS HER SHIT ALL OVER THE FLOOR. "AND SHE SAYS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, I DON'T WANT TO ARGUES, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR SHIT. I DON'T WANT YOUR ATTITUDE."

UM EXCUSE ME AFTER THIS CUNT JUST TOLD ME I HAD MY SHIT ALL OVER THE FLOOR. AND THAN SHE GOES IN SWEET AS PIE TO MY BROTHER ASKING HIM IF WANTS SOME PIZZA
I DON'T KNOW IF ITS STEROIDS OR WHAT THE FUCK IT IS BUT I THINK HE'S ON SOMETHING BECAUSE HE WANTS ME TO MOVE ON COMMAND FOR HIM LIKE MY EX JUNKEE JEWISH GUYASSHOLE THAT HAD INSTANT MONIES HANDED TO HIM.

AND WHEN I YELL BACK BECAUSE I AM SICK OF TAKING THEIR SHIT. THEY GANG UP ON ME AND MAKE IT OUT LIKE IM THE CRAZY ONE.

AND THE ANGRY ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKER JUST RAN TO THE WASHING MACHING TO CHECK MY WASH. YOUR DAY IS COMING MOTHERFUCKER. NO MORE ME. I AM TRYING TO GET OUT OF HERE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

YOU DON'T WANT A SISTER, YOU DONT WANT A DAUGHTER THAN FINE I DON'T FUCKING NEED YOU.

MEN DON'T GET CAT CALLED.

GAY MEN THAT OVERLY DRESS UP LIKE WOMEN GET MADE FUN OF AND THERE'S A DIFFERENCE A HUGE DIFFERENCE.  YOU CAN NEVER EXPERIENCE BEING A WOMAN AND VICE VERSA, BUT MEN WANT EVERYTHING HERE.

THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS I HATE ABOUT AMERICANS INDIVIDUALITY AND GREED

"My dream is to travel the world and make videos for those who can't travel - either because they are sick, bedridden, disabled, lacking cash, or just because they are too young. I want to spread my love for other countries, food, and history to people. Just two more years and I'll have my bachelors degree... Then I can earn money, live on a small amount of what I earn, and travel with the rest."

I SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN PERMISSION TO LIVE

30 YEAR OLD GIRLS SHOULD NOT BELIEVE OLD FART MEN

ATTRACTIVE 30 YEAR OLD GIRLS SHOULD NOT BE PUT OUT TO PASTURE AND THEY ARE NOT GAY BECAUSE THEY REJECT OR INSULT MEN. I BELIEVED I WAS UGLY BECAUSE OF THESE FUCKING LOSERS AT 30. IF YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE AND 30 AND WELL THESE MEN ARE LIEING SACKS OF SHIT.

Narcissism and and narcissistic mothers that hate their daughters.

 Narcissist are never satisfied.
"There's something wrong with her."
"I gotta do something."
Narcissistic Mothers will I have a proper pussy and I never acted out and always did it in hiding in the bathroom or car in private so as not to upset other people AND THEY FUCKING LIE.

ALL WOMAN AND GIRLS SHOULD KNOW
WOMEN HAVE BABIES WOMAN HAVE MENOPAULSAL MOOD SWINGS, ANGER, RAGE AND GO THROUGH THIS AND IT'S NORMAL IT'S NOT ABUSIVE LIKE MY MOTHER SAID IT'S NOT DERANGED AND THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU OR WITH YOU BEING A WOMAN. IT'S A SHAME I HAD TO CATER TO OLD BABY PENIS MEN HAVING ABUSIVE RAGING OVERPOWERING MOODSWINGS AND I WAS BLAMED FOR TRIGGERING THESE THINGS IN MEN.

COULD MY AUNT AND JOY BEHAR BE NARCISSISTIC BITCHES.

THAT SMELL MYSTERIOUS SMOKE COMING FROM OTHER APARTMENTS WHICH MAKES THEM ANGRY WITH NO BRAINS IN THEIR HEADS AND REALLY UPSETS THEM AND DISTURBES THEM.

MY NARCISSISTIC NON RELATED AUNT ALSO GO APEWILD ANGRY AT WATER IN THE BATHROOM. WATER MAKES THEM HAVE ANGRINESS WITH NO BRAINS IN THEIR HEADS AND UPSETS THEM.

ME AND MY POOR COUSIN AND WHAT

I NEED TO TELL MY AUNT.
THE ONLY AUNT THAT'S NOT RELATED TO ME BY BLOOD, BUT SAID I WAS RIGHT WHEN I COMPLAINED ABOUT MY FAMILY. SHE DIDNT' DEFEND ANY OF THEM. SHE'S THE SAME ONE THAT SAID MY AUNTS AND UNCLES NEEDED A HARD GOOD SWIFT KICK IN THEIR ASSES WHEN I WAS GROWING UP. BUT MY GRANDMOTHER CATERED TO THEIR ABUSE OR ABUSIVE ASSHOLES AS ADULTS.

My cousin that's around my age got beat the shit out of by by uncle and now feels that my cousin is a threat to her mother and so she wants my aunt to get a restraining order and report my cousin the victim. This is what my mother did to me recently after we got into a fight a few years ago and the cunt banged my head against a wall.
How sick and twisted mentally do you have to be to pull this bullshit. The orginal cocksucking abusive bastard is my Uncle that abused my cousin and now she's a junkee that's fucked in the head with a little kid by some strange wierdo creepy hispanic guy in the neighborhood that's the baby daddy.
I feel more sorry for my cousin and the kid. My mother never talks about a restraining order against king penis men with no brains in their heads. It's like they feel safer attacking victims.
So you can only imagine how I feel after my mother pulled this stunt and turned on me by making some type of domestic violence report.

MARRIAGE FOR A JOB and PUERTO RICANS

I guess they like control and bribery N-world.
When I first moved to N-World about 16 years ago at some point I was on the verge of losing my job and I was hanging out with my extended Puerto Rican family in N-world. We went to visit them. Anyway my cousin in laws sister looked at me and mentioned that there were job openings at the hotel or restaurant her Puerto Rican son managed, but he's also looking for a wife. So that's like bribery and sounds an alot like something else. Back than I was the pretty white girl. Now I have nothing and had no life while they got whatever the fuck they wanted and full happy lifestyles.
I tried to get angry at my Uncles to get something or get something done. I tried to get angry at Jewish men to get a job and raise hell and can't get a response. They just ignored me whether they're family or not family.
Oh yes I am tired of being there bunching bag.
Is it bad to feel quilty because I don't want to be around morbid homomen narcissist anymore.
I feel like Im not even supposed to be human anymore and all these cunts do is lie about me.

WHAT PISSES ME OFF

MEN IN N-WORLD LIKE SAFE LITTLE GIRLS THAT THEY CAN CONTROL, DOMINATE, TELL WHAT TO DO, AND ALWAYS KNOW EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. BECAUSE IF YOU GIVE A WOMAN MONEY FREELY AND SHE MAKES A CHOICE SHE MAY DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES HER HAPPY AND YOU ANGRY AND THAN YOU HAVE TO FUCKEN GROW UP AND BE MAN. BUT NOT HERE, HERE THEY ARE LIKE ALL LITTLE FAGGOT HOMO CUTE BOYS. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM HIRE OR WORK WITH ANYONE THAT LOOKS LIKE SAMANTHA FOX BECAUSE SHE WAS DANGEROUS EDGY AND SEXY AND THEY NEED THEIR HOMO COCKWORLDS TO FEEL FULL LITTLE BOY SAFETY IN THE OFFICE.

MEN HERE ARE AS UGLY AS SHIT.

SO THEY WASTED THAT HAPPY YOUNG TIME IN MY LIFE BECAUSE AS HOMO FAGMEN THEY NEEDED THAT TO.

EVEN THE ONE THING I HAVE TO SAY WHEN I LIVED IN Mk that AT LEAST MY MOTHER ALLOWED ME TO DRESS SEXY AND I COULD HAVE THAT FEW SECONDS OF HAPPINESS LIVING THEIR BEFORE I MOVED TO THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE

WHITE WOMAN THAT WANT TO PROVE YOUR RACIST

MAYBE NOT ONLY BLACK WOMAN HAVE A CHIP ON THEIR SHOULDER.

REVELATION 101 ON GHETTO WHITE WOMAN

WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE A==WAS A GHETTO WHITE WOMAN ME THINKS. ANYWAY I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT SHE WAS VERY WHITE WITH A MIXED CHILD SO HER FATHER IS EITHER BLACK OR A DARK MEXICAN BECAUSE HER DAUGHTER LOOKED COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

SO I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT HER BECAUSE i WAS TOO TIRED TOO CARE UNTIL I HAD TO LEAVE (PLAY MUSIC FROM JAWS) THE DRUGSTORE. SHE WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF ME WHERE THE OUT DOOR WAS AND GETTING HER LITTLE KID READY TO LEAVE. SO I WAS PATIENTLY WAITING UNTIL AFTER 6 MINUTES SHE LEAVES HER KID THERE WHICH NOW I THINK IS WEIRD TO GO DO SOMETHING UNLESS THE DUMB WHITE BITCH DIDN'T REALIZE SHE IS BLOCKING THE OUT DOOR WITH HER KID AND SHE TOUGHT I WAS OUT TO GET HER BECAUSE SHE HAS A BLACK KID. SO FINALLY WHEN SHE LEAVES HER KID ALL ALONE SOME GUY COMES IN THROUGH THE IN DOOR AND I FIGURE LET ME TRY GOING OUT THAT WAY INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR THIS DUMB BITCH TO MOVE.

NOT ALL WHITE PEOPLE ARE LIKE THIS BUT THERE ARE ALSO ALOT OF DUMB WHITE PEOPLE ALSO WHO ARE SELF CENTERED.

NO MATTER WHAT i SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER WHEN I WAS A KID SHE THOUGHT ME MANNERS AND THAT IF WE WERE STANDING NEAR THE OUT DOOR SHE TOLD ME TO MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY SO OTHER PEOPLE COULD GET THROUGH AND LEAVE. NO DUH. SIMPLE.

SHE GAVE ME A NASTY WIERD LOOK. SHE MUST THINK SHE IS HOT SHIT BECAUSE SHE HAD A BLACK KID I GUESS AND GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT SHE WAS THINKING. THAT WAS THE THING I WAS WAITING AND SMILED AT THE KID BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO WHEN THINGS ARE AWKWARD AND THATS WHEN THE DUMB WHITE CUNT GAVE ME A NASTY WEIRD  LOOK LIKE SHE IS ALL THAT OR SOMETHING AND I AM ON GOOD. MAYBE SHE THOUGHT I WAS RICH. HAHAHAHA

MY RANT FOR THE DAY.

MOST OF THE TIME OUTSIDE OF N-WORLD I WILL SMILE AND ACT FRIENDLY AND PEOPLE ARE FRIENDLY TO ME.

MY TRIBE

SOME OF THE PEOPLE I DON'T WANT IN MY TRIBE

1) NUMERO UNO PEOPLE THAT STEAL OTHER PEOPLE'S PERSONAL PROPERTY AND TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR PERSONAL BELONGINGS BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY OWN YOU AND YOUR STUFF.  I AM TALKING ABOUT FOR EXAMPLE: YOUR DOUCHEBAG UNCLE THAT THROWS OUT YOUR $1,000 300 YEAR OLD IVORY COMBING BRUSH THAT YOUR BLACK AFRICAN GRANDMOTHER BOUGHT YOU OR GAVE TO YOU THAT HAS ALOT OF PERSONAL VALUE ALSO AND CAN NEVER BE REPLACED BY ANYONE OR ANYTHING.  I AM TALKING ABOUT THESE THEIVES THAT HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECT FOR ANYONE OR ANYTHING AND THINK SOMETHING YOU BUSTED YOUR ASS TO CREATE OR SOMETHING SOMEONE ELSE BUSTED THEIR ASS TO CREATE IS A FUNNY JOKE AND CAN BE THROWN OUT IN THE GARBAGE. THOSE PEOPLE I DON'T WANT THEM IN MY TRIBE.

OR THOSE PEOPLE LIKE MY DOUCHEBAG UNCLE THAT HE AND HIS DOUCHEBAG FRIENDS THREW AN ANTIQUE COUCH IN THE GARBAGE THAT WAS 200-300 YEARS OLD MADE OF RARE WOOD AND HANDCARVED ON THE SIDES BY SOMEONE THAT BUSTED THEIR ASS. HE AND HIS FRIENDS TURNED IT DOWN BECAUSE I HAD TO GET TO CLASS AND SHUT DOWN THEIR SEXUAL COMMENTS OR PERVERTED REMARKS.

2) NO ABUSERS THAT NEED TO OVERPOWER OTHER PEOPLE WITH THEIR FAKE HOMO KING SHIT MAN STATUS.  NONE OF THESE MENTALLY DERANGED PEOPLE THAT NEED TO INSTILL FEAR IN OTHER PEOPLE ESPECIALLY WOMEN BECAUSE THEY ARE PUNKS.

I DON'T MATTER.

So it doesn't matter if my health is really bad. If I can't get good health care or take care of myself for 16 years. The only thing that matters is their happinness and getting their full wants and needs met like for my ugly asshole phillipino cousin that makes 200,000 a year. All of a sudden 16 years later he breaks up with his whatever and he needs pussy. WTF?

AND THIS IS THE SHIT THAT MAKES ME ANGRY AS ALL HIGH HOLY HELL. ANGRY AS FUCK.

I can't even get decent glasses and he needs pussy all of a sudden.
He has traveled to the Phillipines frequently which cost serious money and than when I call my family out on things. He says "I WORK HARD" AND MY UNCLE SAYS "I AM STUPID" than how did you pay your mortgage, but I have screwed them over, but I really don't want to screw people over or hold a job over someones head and play games. That's their king shit way of doing things. I just want to get away from them and deal with normal people. I want to get away from the entire area..

I am on a path and hoping I succeed.
I am down because I should have done I should be doing now all the things I want to do instead of living around assholes and their baby faggot needs and wants.

JUST MY THOUGHTS

why would someone that is not even nice to me want sex from me. It's really strange men in N-world and men here. I treat someone like shit and than I want sex from them because I king shit man with no brains in my head.

Some songs give me that simple girl feeling, that happiness for a second that I can never get back to.

more Narcissism from Trans Gay Men

I tell him I'm concerned about his cat, she hasn't been finishing my cats food and usually the gay trans man's cat is a hog. GAY TRANS MAN TURNS IT ON HIMSELF AND SAYS WITH HIS HIGH AND MIGHTY ATTITUDE THAT'S BECAUSE SHE HAS NO SPACE. HE ACTUALLY WANTS EVERYONE AND ESPECIALLY MOMMY TO CATER TO HIS ROYAL GAY ASS.
Im not doing it anymore or I'm not doing it. Get you butch abusive lesbian friend to kiss your ass.
No that's right she wants you to kiss her ass.
Just realized Howard Stern was somewhat right about Rosie O'Donnell.
Back to his cat I tell him he's crazy the cat is always hungry she never cared if the floor was perfectly clean or not before. His cat would gobble up food like crazy. So he doesn't even give a fuck about his own cat. This morning she ran out of the room where she's protected to drink water out of the bathtub.

What's worse is that his mother thinks that if I have my side of the room perfectly clean his gay angry king shit ass will be perfectly satisfied in life.

NOTE: Kids that are raped/molested seem to have this fascination with having a perfectly clean pussy or dick for their rapist. I guess to please them, not sure. So where other people wouldn't give a shit. They always have to have things clean and in order to prove themselves and expect others to live up to their high and mighty standards.. even if they were living in a cardboard box on the street it would still need to be immaculate. ROFLMAO.  All about control.

WHY OLDER JEWISH MIXED WOMEN ARE RACIST AND MTV WAS NEVER RACIST.

Comment from some old Jew Hag or some old Jewish Racist Attorney Lawyer.

MTV WAS RACIST BECAUSE WHEN THEY FIRST STARTED THEY ONLY HAD WHITE PENIS ROTATION OF MUSICIANS. THAN WHEN i TELL OLD WOMAN JEWISH OR MIXED BLACK AND JEWISH TO GO TO HELL. SHE'S LIKE WELL DAVID BOWIE PROTESTED MTV. I REALLY WANTED TO TRY TO GET HER WITH THE REAL WORLD AND TELL HER WE WERE KIDS AND DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT.

When we were kids we didn't give a shit, move of us weren't glued to the TV OR MTV. We had record players and radios and went to the roller ring where there was also black pussy and black penis rotation. Sigh.

In fact my friend was fat and she used to listen to PRINCE on her record player and make up dances fro her Jazz class. SO WHO BOUGHT THOSE RECORDS IN OLD JEWISH OR MIXED BLACK/JEWISH MISERABLE RACIST QUEEN PUSSY LAND. Kids bought those records, Kids bought Michael Jackson, bought Prince, bought Madonna records, bought Cindy Lauper records, bought Jelly bracelets, bought Jelly flats and bought lace tops to go over their tank tops even though they were flat chested so they just looked funny. So there was no black penis rotation on MTV and we have to analyze the consequences and take it seriously lol, but kids bought their records anyway. So his record sales went through the roof. Who made the most money we don't know Prince or Jewish record producers. Ah, but don't talk about the money. Right?

At the roller rink they used to play all sorts of music and not just white dick music because it was so racist and sexist.

I seriously don't get it.

Deep Thoughts

IF THE SPICE GIRLS WERE POPULAR RIGHT NOW.  KIM KARDASHIANS WOULD BE ICKY SPICE.

I DON'T DATE AND ASSHOLES THAT INTERRUPTED MY LIFE, MY ROMANTIC ENCOUNTERS WERE INTERUPTED BY FAGGOT BOOMER AND GENX MEN......................

Here's the thing about me for the past 16 years I don't do anything. I don't date. I don't work. I don't do anything or have anything. I struggle every day in constant turmoil. So why would other non-American men want to know what dating is like when I don't even know what it's like because men in N-WORLD need their FULL PENIS NEEDS MET ON COMMAND AND THAT MEANS HOMO FAGGOT BABY COCK MEN NEED EVERYTHING. IF I GET EVEN 1 THING THEY GET CONFUSED, SAY THEY ARE STUPID AND THEIR PENIS GETS JEALOUS IF THEY HAVE TO PAY ME A PENNY.

Oh yes, my 1 romantic sexual happy kiss with a 30 year old man my own age their penises got that too. Because their cockworlds need EVERYTHING.  So they interrrupted that stopped me from being happy and doing what I like so they could have full cockworld pleasure, non-stop, all the time.

When I used to live in Mk I was happy, full of energy, full of life, full of zest, and enjoyed that happness and excitement.  THEY ENJOY NON-HAPPINESS AND WELL never mind, whatever makes the safe and comfortable in their dull homosexual cockworld environments. They need everything and everyone pleasing them. Fine but don't hip me up for anything. I am fully depressed BECAUSE OF THEM.

IN MK I WAS LIVING.

oH Yes men played me and instead of paying me when I did the photoshop work for them even a $50 bill they paid other cocks to do it.
THE RUSSIAN GUY PAID BLACK COCK TO HELP HIM. So fuck em.

ITS NOT ONLY MY MOTHER.

THIS PLACE SUCKS.  I CAN'T GET ANYONE TO MAKE A DIRECT ACTION.

When I feel like I am sick and in pain I feel more in touch with myself. Not sure why. It sounds crazy most of the time I feel like I am catering to other people and living outside of myself. Now I care and I am miserable.

But it's not only my mother. I dressed up when I used to live in Mk with my mother because that was what the people did there and maybe even encouraged it. Here everyone is as ugly as shit.

NEW YEARS SUCKED

On top of that I can't even go outside without dealing with my creepy pedophile narcissistic sociopathic uncle following me when I am trying to fry a few pieces of bacon on the stove. If you are that miserable KYS. The world would be better off without him. He's a sick fuck.

He actually sounds like Woody Allen with that sensitive homo pedophile penis whiny voice and even when my Uncle watches TV he sounds like Peewee Herman when he  laughs. Maybe Peewee Herman was another Jew Pedophile in HOllywood. When I am making bacon he comes out panicky like a pedo that gets nervous when he tries to get a young girls pussy; pretty mmuch like Woody Allen. I really wish my oldest uncle hired him in his office this way the homo would have spread cat shit all over his desk when he went apewild.

Not feeling well right now, depressed and going to sleep.

Wish I could be free happy and look good again and have some fun like I used to but I am 45 and my Uncle King Penish men need everything handed to them in life because they gay as fuck homos with no brains in their head. I mean I blame my mother but she's not the only one. 

My mother fought me on getting a fridge and now shes happy. I HATE ALL OF THEM.